Back in May, when my doctor proclaimed I had hypothyroidism, I hadn’t really noticed any symptoms. I wasn’t complaining of anything but a sore wrist and a lump in my breast (which I’m certain was a cyst since it has now disappeared again - damn thing surfaces every now and then, but yes, I have a mammogram scheduled anyway).

I went home from that doctor’s appointment and looked up hypothyroidism. The list of symptoms was a little more extensive and I did recognize a few that could have been a result of a slow thyroid. But they could just as easily be attributed to my age.

And then I started taking the medication. My doctor had mentioned that I might notice myself feeling better. He wasn’t kidding. I felt great! I had all kinds of energy. I was less irritable and definitely less stressed about stupid things. My head felt clearer, if that makes any sense. I was much less apt to talk myself out of doing something before I even started it.

Fast forward a month. I had a four day weekend. Now, the first day was unplanned, because I had an emergency in my basement, but The Boyfriend was there to help and we got quite a bit done. I kept moving because I had to. And on Saturday morning, I had a brief burst of energy and mowed the lawn. But aside from that, I had three relatively relaxing days where I wasn’t doing a whole lot. And I was completely drained.

Kat and The Punkin are in town and they came by work tonight. We showed off Punkin’s cuteness and then went out to dinner. She wanted me to stop by her mom’s house afterward, and I couldn’t. Not only because I had to do some laundry, but because I was utterly exhausted. I came home and collapsed.

I did do some laundry, and I did set the coffee pot for tomorrow morning, but all the other things I really wanted to work on tonight have been shoved aside yet again. I have to go back to the doctor next week and in the meantime, I need to go get another blood test, because he wants to see what my thyroid is doing on medication. And it may sound weird, but I’m hoping he finds that it’s still not right. Because at least that would explain why I feel like such a slug. And maybe, just maybe, I can start to feel better again.

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I was going to write something about turning 42 yesterday, something eloquent and meaningful, full of the wisdom I’ve gained over the years.

But then I thought, “Fuck it, I’m tired.” And I took a nap instead.

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You may have noticed I haven’t been around much lately. No? Well, there is that possibility as well.

It’s not that Zola is keeping me hopping (though she DOES have her moments) or that I’m so crazy busy with work or even that my mom is consuming all of my free time. If you’d seen us yesterday, in completely separate rooms for the majority of the day, you’d know that one isn’t true right off the bat.

The truth is, I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago for a follow-up visit and to get the results of my blood tests. My cholesterol was good and my glucose was excellent, but it turns out I have hypothyroidism. Huh. Who knew?

He rattled off a list of symptoms which I quickly discounted and then I went home and researched it some more and started wondering. Several of the things on the list could conceivably be blamed on the normal aging process. Perhaps all this time it’s been my thyroid instead?

He put me on medication and I have to say that I’m feeling better. More energetic. Less irritable and definitely less apt to wallow in self-pity. I’ve actually been getting things done around my house. Yesterday morning, I went out in the horrible heat and humidity and thinned out my day lilies, digging out the rest of the grassy area next to my garage, where I want the day lilies to fill in and digging up and replanting a half dozen of the plants. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a while, and just haven’t had the motivation. And yet, there I was, in action - and on a day where lifting even a finger resulted in near dehydration.

And there have been numerous other things that I have attempted. Saturday morning found me cleaning the living room and dining room. Both are now presentable for company, which is good because I’ll have some of that on Wednesday when Kat brings Miss Laurel over to meet my mom and the diva kitty. I’m sorry, make that The Diva Kitty.

So, apparently, I’m feeling better when I didn’t even realize I wasn’t feeling great. Again, who knew?

In other news, Zola goes back to the vet today. Please cross your fingers that she’s not pregnant. Because there are ominous signs that she is….

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Not long before I left work today, TOTO came to me with a copy of our local paper’s Letters to the Editor and pointed out one written by someone who is “done” with our university. The letter writer ended it by saying she would do her master’s degree at our rival university, which is probably one of the reasons TOTO enjoyed it so much, seeing as she’s a graduate from that same university.

And that’s all well and good. TOTO is more than entitled to rub it in our faces that her football team is better than ours and all sorts of other things. But quite frankly, the things that the letter writer complained about kind of pissed me off. And the more I thought about it, the more angry I became.

Make no mistake about it; I wholeheartedly believe that things could be much better where I went to school and now work. But I hardly think the reasons listed were reasons to declare yourself “done” with your alma mater. For starters, she complained about paying an exorbitant amount for parking, while not being able to find a spot to park. This is such a bullshit complaint. There is plenty of parking on campus. What the real complaint is “I don’t want to have to walk far.” Usually said while whining. I have a friend (Hi Mon, if you’re reading!) who went to MSU and every morning for a while, we’d drop each other emails and complain about how long it was taking for spring to arrive. Mon had to walk a hell of a long way from her car to her building and frequently complained of frozen things, but never about the walking itself. Because that is a fact of life at universities and people need to get over the whole “woe is me” aspect of actually using their feet to transport themselves from one location to another.

The letter writer complained of her husband’s poor advising. I sympathize. As a non-traditional student myself, I also had a terrible adviser. Fortunately, I knew how to read a degree audit and I talked to one of my professors who made sure I was on the right track. In other words, *gasp* I took responsibility for my own education. I understand there are bad advisers. One of my colleagues who wants to attend classes right now just experienced a frustrating time finding the answers he needed. It often takes more than one phone call to more than one person. This is a legitimate issue, but from what I’ve heard from others at different universities, this is not a problem exclusive to our university. TOTO’s experience at our rival university was a good one. I’m glad for that. But that doesn’t mean other problems don’t exist. I was cautioned to hold off on looking into a particular program offered at that rival university because they’ve lost some of their better faculty members in the department. Hopefully, the letter writer’s experience will be similar to TOTO’s, but guess what? Nothing is guaranteed.

I think the thing that ticked me off the most was the biggest reason our letter writer listed for being “done” with our university: ticket limits on commencement. A couple of different issues led to these ticket limits. Fall commencement was canceled due to inclement weather and all those students were invited back to participate in the spring ceremony. But since our campus arena is undergoing renovation, individual colleges had to have their commencements in other locations. Hence the ticket limits. The letter writer was upset that there weren’t enough tickets for four parents and a spouse to attend.

We had a student working for us who is from Poland. She found out very late that both her grandfather and her father would be able to come to the U.S. to attend her graduation and this was going to result in a problem with the ticket limit. She talked to us for ideas and TOTO put her in touch with someone who might have been able to help. We told her to talk to her adviser to see if perhaps he was aware of anyone who wasn’t using a ticket. TOTO suggested asking other students in her classes. We don’t know for certain if she was able to get them all in, because when we saw her last, she only said that graduation was “perfect.” But through it all, even while she was trying to find that extra ticket, she never once complained.

We should all be so gracious.

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(Could have sworn I posted this last night, but apparently I just saved it. *shrug*)

Tendinitis.

I’m to rest it. Which will be no easy feat, considering it’s my left hand. And I’m left-handed.

I’m on an anti-inflammatory patch. Ok, actually, the patch is on me. And wrapped with an ace bandage, but I can use the brace my stepmom gave me if it works. Which it does sometimes, but then I end up yanking it off because it drives me crazy. So far, I’ve successfully left the ace wrap on all day. I might try the brace tomorrow, now that I know it’s not doing more harm than good.

The best part? No dishes! Doctor’s orders. My children and The Boyfriend will have to cater to my every whim. Gee, darn. But I’m not restricted from computer use, so that’s a plus. Hehe…

Oh, and I have to go back in a month.

Completely unrelated, but still important… if a particular someone out there is reading this and that certain someone rarely spells out his whole name when signing emails, after I left the doctor’s office, I turned on the radio to hear a certain song by the Goo Goo Dolls. And no, it was not immediately followed by Tal Bachman.

And that is all for now.

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I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow afternoon about pain in my left hand/wrist/forearm. It started in January, with a sensation much like I needed to crack my wrist. I was turning it from side to side and then OH MY GOD THE PAIN and I didn’t do that anymore.

And then, it was ok, but sometimes, for example, if my arm was resting on a table and I went to move it, I would damn near scream from the excruciating pain. I scared the hell out of TOTO and Princess one day at lunch doing just that.

Lately, the pain is more in my pinky and ring fingers. Today, I was lifting a chip to my mouth with my left hand and just before it got there, there was a spasm of pain and completely out of my control, my hand shot to the right of my mouth and grazed my cheek. It reminded me of Ted Striker’s drinking problem in Airplane! And all I can say is it’s a damn good thing I wasn’t having soup for lunch.

I called the doctor more than a week ago, but they couldn’t get me in until tomorrow. And it hurts. I have no idea what it is but based on what I’ve read, it’s not likely to be carpal tunnel. Which is good. I guess. Unless it’s really something worse. But worst of all will be if the doc has no idea and nothing can be done. Because like I said, it hurts. And it’s getting worse.

So, yeah. Wish me luck. My next door neighbor at work, Trouble, is getting tired of hearing me say “Ouch” every five minutes. Even if it does make her laugh…

What can I say? I work amongst evil people. That’s one of the reasons I fit right in.

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Dude! Both of my projects were done by Saturday night! I could have gone out and gotten stinkin’ drunk and spent all of Sunday hung over and feeling like crap.

Instead, I chose to spend most of Sunday with a sinus headache and cramps… and feeling like crap. I feel cheated somehow; robbed of the good time that could have caused the feeling like crap part. Damn it all.

This semester is almost over. I can’t state enough how happy that thought makes me. It’s not just me feeling this way, either. Ask anyone who is taking classes, teaching classes or living/dating/related to someone who is taking classes or teaching classes. Go ahead, take a moment to ask. I’ll wait.

*whistles to self while looking at the red dot on the ceiling tile above cubicle*

See? What’d I tell you? We’re all sick of it.

So, yeah… thank goodness it’s almost over. Thank goodness my worst week is now behind me. Three assignments, one quiz, one three page paper and one final. I think I can handle it.

Especially since that’s WAAAAAAAY shorter than the “To Do” list I have running in my head for the house. *sigh*

It’s always something…

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A smattering…

I posted that Happy Birthday message to my dad at lunch and then had to leave work at 2:30 due to intense intestinal (heh - alliteration) pain. It had been plaguing me on and off all day, but it was so bad after lunch that Trouble could hear me doing breathing exercises trying to fight it off and TOTO wanted to drive me home to make sure I made it ok. (She says… we all know she just wanted to leave work early.)

I made it home. I damn near collapsed in my driveway, though. I stretched out on the couch and it was better for a while, but at one point the pain got so bad, I was about ready to tell JM to take me to the ER. Instead, I went to bed. So, Dad… I apologize for not calling you on your birthday, but I was sick and sleeping. It’s too soon to tell if the pain is gone. For that, I would need to get up and move around and I’m not so certain I want to do that just yet.

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Last night, I repeatedly had dreams about work. Not nightmares, mind you, but still, at one point I woke up and said to myself, “STOP IT! You’ll be there for real in a few hours!”

And I was.

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The workshop I attended last week was so beneficial and not just for work related reasons. I needed to make that drive to Columbus. It’s been a while since I’ve gone anywhere out of town by myself. It’s too easy for me to fall into the ruts of my comfort zone. This may not make sense to anyone, but it sort of goes hand in hand with my independence. I never had a driver’s license until I was 24 and even then, I drove to work and/or the grocery store and back, until I was forced to start driving Mike to and from his oncology appointments in Columbus. Of course, it wasn’t until after he died that I got my first pair of glasses and realized a big part of my confidence problem was related to less than perfect vision. I started driving all over the place after that. I drove to Alabama to see Kimmer on more than one occasion, and I drove from her house to Nashville alone, to attend a concert. Sure, I knew the band, but it was still pretty brave of me.

If one workshop 2.5 hours away from home can get me breaking out of that comfort zone again, it was worth far more than the $40 it cost to attend. And since my employer paid for that, it’s even MORE valuable!

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Um… damn. I’ve had all these thoughts rolling through my head for days, and me unable to find time to blog them. Not fair that they’ve all managed to escape just when I need them.

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Ugh. Pain isn’t gone. Not as bad, but not gone.
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When I came home this afternoon, I noticed Alex sitting in the room, looking… lonely. More and more I’m considering getting another cat. I don’t know, though. He’s not really alone for long stretches of time. He was today, because The Boyfriend went to a baseball game and left early, and no one else was home. If I could borrow someone’s kitten for a few days, just to see how he’d react… I’m hesitant to commit to anything because I really don’t know how he’ll handle it. The one time he’s been outside since we lost Mickey, he was in close proximity to a cat from across the street and wasn’t fazed at all. This is a far cry from past behavior, where he has started hissing if a cat even ventured onto the sidewalk out front of our house. From his window perch, INSIDE the house! So, one wonders if he’s missing Mickey enough to maybe want a playmate. A kitten who will torment the hell out of him and turn him into a cranky old man. Heh. I love this idea. Is that mean?

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I’m going back to bed.

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I love the new job. I know, I’ve only been officially in the position for 3.5 days, but seriously… the days fly by. In my old position, I didn’t really feel like I was truly responsible for anything. As one of four circ desk supervisors, I was the only one who didn’t really have a specific area that I was in charge of, other than OhioLink. I was a backup for Princess where reserve was concerned, and I enjoyed doing that work, but it still wasn’t the same as actually “owning” the job, for lack of a better word.

I’ve screwed up a few times so far and I know it. Nothing that couldn’t be easily fixed, though, and I took care of it. Every day has presented a new challenge or three. Some of them are things that we covered in training; others couldn’t have been predicted and so I had to figure them out on my own. But I did. And it feels great!

So, that’s work.

On the home front, I’ve been dividing my time between homework and genealogy research. The homework is pretty simple. The genealogy stuff is leaving me frustrated for two reasons. First, off the top of my head, I can think of four places I need to visit locally in order to document some stuff (and I’m getting ready to create a new blog just for the genealogy stuff), but the weather has been so crappy that there’s no way I can go. Two of the places are local cemeteries and I kind of need decent weather for those. But the thing that really has me banging my head against the wall is my maternal grandfather’s side of the family. My uncle is very interested in learning more about that side. I can only get as far back as my great great grandparents, though, before the trail goes cold on both sides. ARGH!

When the weather breaks, I’m going to be taking a few day trips to central Ohio, and possibly a weekend adventure or two to southeastern Ohio and West Virginia. Eventually, I’m going to need to go to Pennsylvania as well, but as that’s the branch that’s hiding the most right now, I’m not going anywhere until I visit a couple of libraries first. The LDS have a local satellite branch of their mammoth library in Salt Lake City, and I’m definitely going there before I put any miles on my vehicle.

It’s time for me to get to bed. Still trying to get used to a new sleeping schedule. That’s the rough part.

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I know, I know… I haven’t been around.

It’s been a busy couple of weeks and I’m still trying to get adjusted to being back on days. I haven’t had enough sleep at all this week. I thought I was starting to catch a cold last night, but either the zinc lozenges I’ve been taking are doing the trick, or my allergies were just having a little fun at my expense.

In the midst of training for my new job, we took a “field trip” down to BG today to get a demonstration of a new computer application that we’ll be switching to later this year. Even with all I have yet to learn, it seems pretty intriguing.

The morning didn’t start smoothly. My alarm was set for 6:10, but I was awakened at 5:30 by the telltale bed shaking of The Boyfriend having an insulin reaction. I grabbed the glucose tablets on my nightstand and started feeding them to him, but we didn’t have any juice, which seems to be the fastest way to bring his sugar up. Thought about getting a glass of milk, but before I could get to that point, I lost him to the seizure that was lying in wait.

He’s fine, albeit sore as hell and unable to really eat anything because of chewing up the inside of his mouth. He went to work tonight, because god forbid anyone take any of their accrued sick time for a legitimate reason. If anything good came out of this, it’s that I’m more convinced than ever that he does NOT have epilepsy, but that ALL of his seizures are caused by his blood sugar plummeting. And even though we’ve been discussing the insulin pump for a few months, it’s time to take the next step toward him actually getting it.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is much less eventful.

I haven’t even looked at my homework for this week. Nothing is due until Monday night anyway, but I hate having to do it all over the weekend. Then again, I think The Boyfriend is working all weekend anyway, so it’s probably good timing.

I’d like to say more, but suddenly I really need to close my eyes and get some actual rest.

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