A smattering…

I posted that Happy Birthday message to my dad at lunch and then had to leave work at 2:30 due to intense intestinal (heh - alliteration) pain. It had been plaguing me on and off all day, but it was so bad after lunch that Trouble could hear me doing breathing exercises trying to fight it off and TOTO wanted to drive me home to make sure I made it ok. (She says… we all know she just wanted to leave work early.)

I made it home. I damn near collapsed in my driveway, though. I stretched out on the couch and it was better for a while, but at one point the pain got so bad, I was about ready to tell JM to take me to the ER. Instead, I went to bed. So, Dad… I apologize for not calling you on your birthday, but I was sick and sleeping. It’s too soon to tell if the pain is gone. For that, I would need to get up and move around and I’m not so certain I want to do that just yet.

**************************

Last night, I repeatedly had dreams about work. Not nightmares, mind you, but still, at one point I woke up and said to myself, “STOP IT! You’ll be there for real in a few hours!”

And I was.

**************************

The workshop I attended last week was so beneficial and not just for work related reasons. I needed to make that drive to Columbus. It’s been a while since I’ve gone anywhere out of town by myself. It’s too easy for me to fall into the ruts of my comfort zone. This may not make sense to anyone, but it sort of goes hand in hand with my independence. I never had a driver’s license until I was 24 and even then, I drove to work and/or the grocery store and back, until I was forced to start driving Mike to and from his oncology appointments in Columbus. Of course, it wasn’t until after he died that I got my first pair of glasses and realized a big part of my confidence problem was related to less than perfect vision. I started driving all over the place after that. I drove to Alabama to see Kimmer on more than one occasion, and I drove from her house to Nashville alone, to attend a concert. Sure, I knew the band, but it was still pretty brave of me.

If one workshop 2.5 hours away from home can get me breaking out of that comfort zone again, it was worth far more than the $40 it cost to attend. And since my employer paid for that, it’s even MORE valuable!

**************************

Um… damn. I’ve had all these thoughts rolling through my head for days, and me unable to find time to blog them. Not fair that they’ve all managed to escape just when I need them.

**************************

Ugh. Pain isn’t gone. Not as bad, but not gone.
**************************

When I came home this afternoon, I noticed Alex sitting in the room, looking… lonely. More and more I’m considering getting another cat. I don’t know, though. He’s not really alone for long stretches of time. He was today, because The Boyfriend went to a baseball game and left early, and no one else was home. If I could borrow someone’s kitten for a few days, just to see how he’d react… I’m hesitant to commit to anything because I really don’t know how he’ll handle it. The one time he’s been outside since we lost Mickey, he was in close proximity to a cat from across the street and wasn’t fazed at all. This is a far cry from past behavior, where he has started hissing if a cat even ventured onto the sidewalk out front of our house. From his window perch, INSIDE the house! So, one wonders if he’s missing Mickey enough to maybe want a playmate. A kitten who will torment the hell out of him and turn him into a cranky old man. Heh. I love this idea. Is that mean?

***************************

I’m going back to bed.

Share This