Today’s mail brought the death certificate I ordered from the fine folks at Pennsylvania Vital Statistics. I had a rather amusing conversation with one of those fine folks the other day, in fact. She’d left a voicemail for me on Monday and when I called her back on Tuesday, she had no clue why she’d called me. Apparently, she figured out whatever question she’d had. I made a point of thanking her and her colleagues for providing me and my colleagues with so much amusement over the whole “Death_by_fax” file name. She said, “Sometimes, you have to be creative.” I like her.

Anyway, the death certificate both confirmed what I was thinking and further confused me. This person is definitely my great, great uncle. My great great grandfather’s name was definitely John Briggs, as it has been found on all three death certificates of his children that I’ve located. But my hope of finally learning my great great grandmother’s full name was not to be. All that’s listed is her last name: Eberts. So, we have one death certificate that says “Adelia Ebert,” one that says “Elizabeth Ebbers” and one that says only “Eberts.”

*sigh*

Time to hit up some of the places on my list to visit… the answers I’m seeking are out there somewhere….

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Well, Dad’s home from the hospital. Let’s hope that’s the last he sees of the place for a while. I talked to him briefly this afternoon, but he was pretty sleepy from medication so I didn’t keep him on the phone. I was going to go out to visit him tonight, but I have two days to finish up a project for one of my classes because this weekend, I don’t want to be on my computer for anything.

Yes, you read that right. I’m unplugging for the weekend. And if all goes well, I’m making it a regular thing. It’s become too much of a distraction and until I can make some progress in other areas of my life, I need to limit myself.

So, every night this week (with the exception of last night), I’ve been trying to spend the majority of the evening working on homework. The only thing I haven’t figured out is how I’ll work in the genealogy research. Fortunately, I’m at a point now where I have to physically go to a couple of libraries and the family history center. My aunt from Texas is coming into town next month and I want to pick her brain. She’s done extensive tracing on my dad’s side of the family, so I’m hoping she can give me some encouragement.

The death certificate I ordered is for a man that I believe is my great grandmother’s younger brother. I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to learn their mother’s name. Here’s what I know:

In the 1870 census, she appeared as Adaline Briggs, born in Pennsylvania about 1847. She was married to John Briggs, and they had three children: Alfred, Emma (my great grandmother) and a child listed as Thomas. Fast forward to the 1880 census and Adaline is no longer listed. Thomas isn’t either, but there is a James Dallas born the same year (and given what I’ve learned so far, he went by Dallas, which could have been confused as Thomas by the census taker). There’s also another daughter, Laura, born about 1874.

I know that Emma and Alfred both ended up in Ohio and I know that Dallas stayed in Pennsylvania. But I don’t know what happened to my great great grandfather, nor do I know what happened to the younger sister. Most of the 1890 census was destroyed in a fire, so there’s a large piece of the puzzle missing, in which I might have learned where both father and daughter ended up. And what happened to Adaline?

Even curiouser, what was her actual name? Emma’s death certificate lists her mother’s name as Ada Ebert. Alfred’s lists his as Elizabeth Ebbers. I can’t find ANYTHING on either one of those names so far. So, I’m hoping that the death certificate of James Dallas Briggs gives me a little more concrete information to use.

I only wish I would have developed an interest in all of this sooner, when my grandmother was still alive to answer some questions. But I’m not giving up. Someone somewhere has the information. I just have to find it. And finding information happens to be one of my strengths.  It’s a mystery. Good thing I grew up reading Nancy Drew!

And now it’s back to the homework… a little less worried and scared tonight. Dad, if you’re reading this, I love you. In fact, I love you even if you’re NOT reading this.

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My dad is in the hospital again. He went in on Saturday, but I didn’t find out about it until Sunday. Funny thing was, I immediately called my aunt (his sister), whom I’d promised to keep updated on his condition since she knew nothing about his cancer until he’d sent a mass email out to everyone letting them know that the surgery had been a success.  But my aunt already knew.

It’s not surprising to me that I’m the last to find out these things. Most of the time, my dad has been in and out of the hospital before I’ve even been let in on the news. An interesting moment took place this morning when my mechanic called.

Amos: How are you doing, Mrs. B?

Me: I’m fine, although I have to say I’m a little nervous. If you’re calling me this early in the morning, the news about my car can’t be good.

A: Hey, did you hear about Gary??

M: You mean, Gary, my dad? As in, he’s in the hospital? Yes, I heard.

A: Gary’s your dad? I didn’t know for sure. Yeah, I guess if he’s your dad, then you’d hear about him being in the hospital, wouldn’t you?

Me: You’d think.

********************

When I repeated the conversation to TOTO and Princess, TOTO said something along the lines of, “Imagine if you’d found out from your MECHANIC that your dad was in the hospital.”

I don’t think it’s too far from the truth to say that heads would have ROLLED.  It would have looked (and sounded) like a bowling alley.

Forgive me. I get bitchy when I’m scared and worried, and quite frankly, I’m scared and worried. I want the weather to warm up because this fucking cold winter doesn’t do anything for anyone’s spirits and I want my dad’s spirits to be as high as possible. It’s been one thing after another this winter and it needs to STOP. I am absolutely, positively, not ready for anything to happen to my father, and dammit… I think I deserve to have that particular wish granted. I already lost the only other man in my life that I’ve ever completely trusted. Is a few more years with this one too much to fucking ask?

*********************

The one piece of good news does come from my mechanic. Lulu needed the new tires, which I knew, but other than that, only an alternator belt, an alignment and an oil change, and she’s good to go for the trip to C-bus next week. Even better, new tires mean I have more confidence driving on slick roads across town, which means I can visit my dad more often. I didn’t go up to the hospital today and I didn’t get a chance to call before it got kind of late, so I’m heading up there tomorrow.

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I took a half a personal day today, in order to:

A) go out and get my Irish on last night for a bit with The Boyfriend; and

B) make arrangements for Lulu the Malibu to go to her doctor for a new tires and a checkup before I head south next week for my workshop.

The getting the Irish on was a bit of a bust. I had 2.5 drinks and my stomach was upset. I found out why upon my return home. The Boyfriend can relax because yet again, I am NOT pregnant! Woo!

(I hope my dad isn’t reading this post…)

So, yeah… we headed out at about 11 when The Boyfriend got home from work and we were back before 1, I think. And since I’d gotten up yesterday morning at 5:45, I pretty much hit the pillow and was out. Didn’t even take my allergy meds last night and I’ll be paying for that later on.

When I woke up this morning, I did a load of laundry, called the mechanic to let him know Lulu will be coming for a visit, had some breakfast and sat down to order a death certificate from the fine folks at Pennsylvania Vital Records. I decided to do it via fax, so I downloaded the PDF form. And that’s when I cracked up.

The file name is Death_by_fax.pdf.

Sounds like a horrible way to go…

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Today’s mail brought me the title to my car. And the promissory note stamped “PAID.” Which was signed on March 28, 2006. Not even two years later, I own my car free and clear. Sure, I used my income tax refund to do it, but as Princess and TOTO pointed out, I still did it. And I should be proud of myself. (I am.)

It’s proof that I can achieve something if I really want to badly enough. For some reason, it’s easy for me to forget that. I get caught up in second-guessing myself and before I know it, I’ve talked myself out of doing whatever it was that I wanted to do. I don’t want to be like that anymore.

I worry about everything. I worry about needing new tires on my car and then I worry that my mechanic lied to me and I don’t really need new tires at all. (I need new tires.) I worry that something else is wrong with my car and that it’s going to end up costing me the rest of what’s in my savings account right now, which would be a problem because I’m trying not to spend any of that money until my eye doctor appointment next month. (BTW, WTF??? The eye doctor can’t see me for more than a month??? It has NEVER taken me that long to get into that office.)

I need new glasses. My prescription didn’t change enough last time around and most of the time I wear contacts anyway, but I know this time will be different. So, I’m trying to stay prepared for that expense.

But I need to get tires and soon. I found out today that I’m going to a workshop in Columbus later this month, for ILL people. No, not sick people… Inter Library Loan people. The library paid for me to attend the workshop, but I’ll be driving myself down there.

I’m excited about the workshop. Is that geeky? God, I love my job. It’s amazing how much I love it. It scares me, too, though. We keep hearing about cutbacks and reallocations and wouldn’t it just suck if I finally found something that I love and that I feel I do well and then something ends up happening and I lose it? Or get bumped? After five years at the university, I’ve built up some seniority, but I’m still pretty low on the totem pole at the library.

So, in other good news, I saw the fall schedule of classes last night and made a lovely discovery. There is one class that I have to take (Flash Animation) before I get my degree. I’ve been putting it off because it’s never offered through distance learning and it’s never offered on main campus. Finally, they’re offering it online this fall! I’m jumping all over that.  That and Desktop Publishing.

Will someone smack me upside the head for thinking about fall already? Sheesh! It’s not even spring yet. I can barely wait for summer to get here (though I’ll feel differently once the house heats up again). But still… thunderstorms… barbecuing… baseball games… outdoor concerts… warm summer evenings, friends and cold beverages… *sigh*

Is it here yet?

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Dear Library to the North,

Even though I heard the rumors about you, I’d hoped that we could be friends. I thought maybe the people in charge of lending were just stupid and didn’t know any better, and that’s why they always send crappy hard-to-read articles and never respond when there’s a problem. I’d hoped that maybe our relationship might be different, that perhaps you’d just gotten off on the wrong foot with TOTO and Trouble and maybe, just maybe, you and I would turn out to be friends - not BFF, but good friends.

Admittedly, I was taken aback the day I opened the invoice drawer and found not one, not two, but SIX unpaid invoices for books that you or your patrons had lost, but never replaced. Is this how friends treat each other? Wouldn’t it be polite for you to reimburse us for the property you borrowed but didn’t care for properly?

But it didn’t shake my faith in your entirely. After all, the woman I replaced was still lending you things, so perhaps she’d seen something good and redeeming in you. It was enough to make me want to take a chance on you.

And then I made that amateur mistake. I mistakenly sent you a book requested by another university and I sent them the book you’d requested. The error was caught right away. You were actually the one who caught it first and you called right away and left a message with the woman I was replacing. But that was her last day of work and I was caught up in asking her last minute questions. I vowed to make things right the following Monday.

When the time came, I was a little overwhelmed and since my ability to take notes during phone conversations ranks right up there with my ability to sit still long enough to watch a movie (in other words, I suck at it), I used my best form of communication: writing. I sent you an email.

The weird thing was that I didn’t hear back from you. For two weeks, even after I received the other stray book back from the library, there was nary a sound coming from your direction. So, I enclosed a note with the book I was sending to you. I asked you to forward the book on to the other library, or send it back to me, but to let me know what you were going to do either way. And still, I heard nothing.

It saddened me. What did I do to offend you so? Did I disgust you by sending you the wrong book in the first place? Was it something I said?

Finally, nearly a month after that initial email, I emailed you again last night. This time, I used a different contact, someone whose title sounded a bit more… managerial. I used a read receipt. I used a delivery receipt. Funny… I never received notification of the delivery, but I did get a response to the email.

When I saw it was from you, I rejoiced! For about 30 seconds. Until it became clear from reading your email that you were implying I had dropped the ball. That the woman who’d called had never heard a response and didn’t know what to do with the book.

Riiiiight. Funny that when I emailed you back, thanking you for the update and letting you know that in fact I had attempted to contact her, not once but twice, I didn’t get anything in the way of an apology. Perhaps it was my not-so-subtle hint of letting you know that I prefer to handle these matters in writing, so that I have a record of what is said and done. Because now you know that I know that all of those rumors I’ve heard aren’t rumors at all.

You really do suck.

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This is the view from my couch right now.

Which, admittedly, doesn’t look like much. But wait! Let’s zoom in! First on the left, through the living room window:

*sigh* At least we’re not getting slammed like the rest of Ohio. I actually drove JL to work this morning, with a few problems but nothing major.

And in any event, the view on the right makes it so much better:

Ohhhh… Cubbies. Spring training. The next best thing to being in Mesa is being able to watch them on TV in Mesa. Twenty-two days until Opening Day!

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I’m a half hour late on yesterday’s post for NaBloPoMo, but I’ll live with it. I don’t really have a list in mind anyway, unless it would be a list of all the things I need to accomplish this weekend, and quite frankly? That would just be too depressing.

I did just finish my online exam, so that’s one less thing that needs to be taken care of.  Tomorrow morning, I have to be up early enough to drive JL to work by 9:30. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but we’re on the edge of the major winter storm that’s hitting Ohio right now, and I’m not sure how much snow there will be when I wake up. Which also isn’t a big deal, except for the fact that my car needs new tires. So, it makes me a little uncomfortable.

Also making me uncomfortable is a slightly sore throat. It’s so slight that I’m not even sure it’s actually sore. It might just be dry from the winter air and lack of hydration. But I’ve also had a mildly stabbing headache on and off over my left eye all day. Quite annoying. Much like this post.

What say we give it all a rest by putting it (and me) to bed? Tomorrow is sure to be a better day, right?

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No decision has been made in a blog nickname for New Guy. Someone mentioned it might be best to give it a week or two to determine the proper name for his personality.  New Guy is a very welcome addition to our staff, his position having been vacant for 15 months. I should know. I’m the one who vacated it. Since we’re on spring break and we can actually leave campus without losing the coveted parking spot, we all went to lunch today and took New Guy with us. It was fun. He’s a good fit. He did, however, object to my suggestion that we call him “One of the Girls.”

One of our librarians felt that name was just too good to waste, so he snapped it up. I knew there was a reason I liked that guy.

I don’t have a list for tonight. I’m too tired. I was in bed by 9 p.m. last night and even though I kept waking up throughout the night, I made myself stay in bed until 6 a.m. At least I woke up feeling good.

We’re bracing for another 6 to 8 inches of snow tomorrow afternoon through Saturday night. The good news is that my Cubbies are on TV both Saturday AND Sunday. At least I can delude myself for a short time that spring is already here.

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And I’m headed in that direction, very soon. As soon as I

• set the coffeepot for tomorrow
• figure out what the hell I’m wearing to work
• place said outfit somewhere I can get to it while turning on the minimal amount of lights
• plug in my cell phone
• check email one more time
• turn off my computer
• take out my contacts
• take my allergy meds
• set my alarm clock

Thankfully, I don’t have to pack a lunch because we’re going out tomorrow. Princess, TOTO and e-Best have decided that we need to go out to lunch with New Guy.

Incidentally, New Guy needs a blog nickname. Perhaps that’s a topic for tomorrow’s list.

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